Ever wonder why things ended so abruptly? Ever wonder why your feelings were so hurt? Ever wonder why the other person never left an apology? Well I’m here to tell you, you’re not alone. Countless people everyday going through breakups, a loved one dying, and losses are asking themselves these same questions.
I want to focus on the relationship aspect of closure. Being that I’ve experienced a few breakups myself, I can attest to knowledge of receiving closure. First let me tell you one major key to breakups: you won’t always receive closure! Especially the type that your heart desires to have. See, in your mind you believe that the other person should consider your feelings. You wish that the other person will let you down easy. Unfortunately, that’s not the way closure works entirely. In fact, it seems as if it works the total opposite. The other person breaks up with you on THEIR OWN terms. Their own timing. They do what’s best for them giving the circumstances of the relationship.
As the person seeking closure from a break up, you are thinking of self. You are half way right with the decision to consider yourself. But in the process, remember that thinking of yourself doesn’t mean hurting the other person in the process. Here’s the healthier practices to creating closure:
1. Separate yourself from the other person: having distances between you two will help you keep from trying to go back to them.
2. Express your emotions: write a letter to them (its best you don’t send), express forgiveness and your feelings about the breakup
3. Go forward: look at the positive outcome and towards a greater future
Sometimes closure practices can take you a little longer than expected. For myself I remember a time in my life where a break up took me 2 YEARS. So trust me when I say, it’s a process. More importantly, trust that you are strong enough to get through this. You know how the saying goes; when one door closes, another door opens
Evalynn1416 